Transformative Taskmaster | Ep15 | LottaSoup | You’re gonna get fired at this rate

VO: Hello and welcome to Transformative Taskmaster, the podcast by fans, for fans, and about fans. This week, TK and fellow fic author, LottaSoup, play a few games and discuss a bit of their writing process… ssis? sses? Whatever that is.

[music]

TK: And now, to a girl whose obsession with Greg Davies is outstripped only by her passion for writing pornographic fanfiction about Greg Davies. It’s little LottaSoup! Welcome to the podcast!

LottaSoup: Thank you for my compliment. And to my left, the Usain Bolt of Taskmaster fanfiction. The web admin of assmaster.com, and now the host of the Pervert’s Podcast- I mean, the Transformative Taskmaster Podcast. It’s… they’re very much taller than me… TK!

TK: Oh, thank you. I was not expecting an introduction right back at me, but that was amazing.

LottaSoup: If you come at me with a Greg, I’m going to come back at you.

TK: That’s very fair. That is fair.

LottaSoup: I’m genuinely so excited to be talking to you! I’m all excited again.

TK: Your username is LottaSoup, so tell me about where that name came from?

LottaSoup: Oh, okay. That’s an interesting transition. Well, first of all, it sort of spoke to me because A) I really like soup, and B) because I’m a very, very nice pervert, I make a lot of soup for my local food drives. I literally make a lot of soup. So LottaSoup seemed very appropriate.

TK: That’s awesome. Now, you said your local food drives, now you’re in Africa.

LottaSoup: Correct, yes! I am in South Africa, hello!

TK: Shout out!

LottaSoup: I am the representative of the perverts on the African continent.

TK: So Southern Africa, how did you get into the Taskmaster community?

LottaSoup: It sort of, everything I owe really to Richard Osman, because I am a huge quiz nerd, so I’ll watch Pointless, any sort of BBC, anything that I can find on YouTube, any kind of quiz show I watch. And then I discovered that Richard Osman was on this thing called Taskmaster, and I’m like, oh, okay, I guess I’ll watch it. And then I was like, what the hell am I looking at?! And then I was hooked. And then it was like, oh, and hello, who’s that guy?!

TK: At Greg Davies.

LottaSoup: And then I fell down.

TK: Fell into the rabbit hole. So is there-

LottaSoup: No, tunnel!

TK: Yeah, well down into the tunnel.

LottaSoup: Thank you.

TK: Is there a Taskmaster fan base in South Africa, or is it just you as far as you can tell?

LottaSoup: I don’t think there’s anyone quite as rabid as I am, but there are definitely fans here. But it’s a very different environment because we don’t really have terrestrial TV, so to speak. So, I mean, there’s no way that you can actually watch Taskmaster unless you’re a white, wealthy person. So you can either see it on the internet or you don’t see it at all.

TK: Right.

LottaSoup: But if you watch when they do the live premieres of the episodes, you will see a couple of people popping up there saying, hello, I’m from South Africa, so there are definitely fans here. But, also people in South Africa don’t really know how to internet. So they’re out there, but I haven’t found them yet. When I find them, I’ll chuck them at you.

TK: Okay, good. I mean, we’re very happy to have you in our little group chat as we’re going to be calling it.

LottaSoup: Oh, wait, didn’t we call it a fan forum? Is that what we’re calling it?

TK: I don’t know what we’re calling it. I kind of like group chat.

LottaSoup: Group chat’s fine. Okay.

TK: Little group chat. It’s really people from literally all over the world.

LottaSoup: In every continent, it’s amazing.

TK: Except for… do we have anyone from Antarctica?

LottaSoup: Antarctica? It’s only a matter of time.

TK: That’s true. So I know that you have some games questions for me, and I have some game questions for you. So do we want to get into it?

[music]

LottaSoup: Okay, all right. There’s one question I couldn’t, like just hold there. So I’m going to give you some quotes and then you need to tell me which Taskmaster contestant said them.

TK: Okay!

LottaSoup: I’m going to do my best at mimicking, all right. Here we go. This one is level number one, very easy. “He was a different man!”

TK: Oh no, I’m going to be so bad at this. My memory is like a sieve!

LottaSoup: That’s level one, come on, this is the easiest question. “He was a different man. He was different!”

TK: If this is level one this does not bode well for me.

LottaSoup: Okay. That was Liza Tarbuck just after she made Alex sit on a cake.

TK: Oh yeah, okay.

LottaSoup: Okay, this one is one of my absolute favorites of all time. “But the penmanship?!” “The penmanship!”

TK: Why do I feel like that’s Kerry Godliman?

TK: I’m telling you, I’m gonna be bad at this!

LottaSoup: You failed level one and level two. I mean, you’re going to get fired at this rate! Do you want one more go?

TK: Well, you gotta tell me what the answer was.

LottaSoup: Okay, it was Alice Levine. After she did the skywriting task for the show how you love Greg task?

TK: I don’t even remember that. At all. Clearly I need to rewatch the entire show again.

LottaSoup: We’ve just got like, Alzheimer’s Lite, you and I. Okay, then the medium one. And then this will show you everything you need to know, because I literally have put medium and then didn’t put a quote because I forgot.

LottaSoup: Okay. I don’t think you’ll get the hard one. “I’ve given myself a stitch!”

TK: Oh, that does sound familiar. I feel like it’s from one of the later seasons, series. My mind is telling me it’s the throw rings onto the gorilla task from series 17.

[foghorn]

LottaSoup: Sorry! No, that one was from Katie Wix. And then the super hard one, the super, super, super hard one. “Lotta soup in Campbelltown.” If you don’t get this right, I’m going to be angry. There’s a “Lotta soup in Campbelltown.”

TK: Sam Campbell?

LottaSoup: Understandable mistake. No, try again.

TK: Is it from Sam Campbell’s series?

LottaSoup: All the information is on the task.

TK: There’s no task. Julian?

LottaSoup: Oh, I wish! He was really, really, really, really exciting, wasn’t he. No, it’s Phil Wang. So congratulations, you got nought out of five. I guess you’re disqualified.

TK: Yep. All right, you’re the host now, have fun.

LottaSoup: Yeah, bye bye.

TK: Wow, I was horrible at that. Wow.

LottaSoup: Ooh! Have you got a quiz for me?

TK: Yes. Okay, so I have three questions for you. So this game is called Fact or Fanfic. So I am going to read three intros from Greg to Alex, like introducing Alex. You’re tell me if it was something that Greg-

LottaSoup: Real or, ok.

TK: Actually said, or if it was something made up in a fanfic.

LottaSoup: I would just like to tell you that my mind is a steel trap for anything that Greg Davies says. So I’m going to ace this, right? Okay. Right. I’ve got no doubt. All right, let’s go.

TK: Number one. And next to me, a man who told me in a private moment that having a woman pilot an airplane is like putting a squirrel in charge of a peanut farm.

LottaSoup: Fact!

TK: Yes, that is indeed a fact that, was from series 13, episode ten.

LottaSoup: Woohoo!

TK: All right, number two. You’ve already won.

LottaSoup: I’ve already won.

TK: All right, number two. And next to me, a man who told me that as a young person, he used to practice kissing on his grandfather’s pet carp, Mr Suckles.

LottaSoup: That is fact.

TK: That is indeed, fact. Wow, you’re acing this.

LottaSoup: I mean, I don’t know if the actual story is fact, but I’d believe it. I can see Alex doing that.

TK: Yeah, series 15, episode ten, was that one. Okay, the final Fact or Fanfic. And to my left, literally, because he’s in so many ways the opposite of a right hand man. It’s Little Alex Horne.

LottaSoup: Fiction.

TK: That is correct!

LottaSoup: Thank you. That did not happen.

TK: Wow, now I feel embarrassed. Yes, that was by Illuminescence.

LottaSoup: So now I get a trophy, right?

TK: Yeah, you definitely get a trophy that I will create. You’ll get a little star next to your name on the website or something.

LottaSoup: But you can design a tattoo for me or something.

TK: Oh yeah, I’ll definitely do that. That one was from a fic by Illuminescence called ‘A Delicious Crisis.’

LottaSoup: All praise Iluminescence!

TK: All right, well, now that I’ve been thoroughly smashed in the games section.

LottaSoup: No, you’ve been dominated.

TK: Which was quite embarrassing for me.

LottaSoup: Don’t mess with a Greg.

TK: Let’s talk about, I know that you wanted to talk a little bit about why people love writing fanfic about Taskmaster.

LottaSoup: Well, actually was more interested to hear your thoughts on it, because I’m actually not quite sure why we have this sort of compulsion to do it? But I think we have a sort of a similar thing where if my head hits a pillow, I start writing it in my head. Is it the same for you?

TK: Yes.

LottaSoup: It writes itself. It’s not like I’m shutting down at computer and doing it, it takes me over and takes me to the computer and opens a Word document and starts typing it. So maybe it’s demons or something? I don’t know.

TK: My sleep paralysis demon tells me to write Taskmaster fanfic.

LottaSoup: None of this is my fault. None of this is my fault.

TK: So I’ll tell you, me personally, so my head hits the pillow and of course, I can’t go right to sleep. And so my brain comes up with these ideas, and then I’ll fall asleep with this like, fully formed idea in my head and just have to hope that I wake up remembering.

LottaSoup: And hope that you will remember it, yes.

TK: And fortunately, most of the time I do, which is really good. I remember there was one time that I fell asleep with an idea, I don’t even remember off the top of my head which one it was, but it was a 1 or 2 word task prompt, so, ‘excite Alex’ that type of thing. And I fell asleep coming up with this two word task prompt. And I was like, “oh that is so good”. Because these days, as you know, tasks can be super long. And so I was really proud of myself for being like oh this is like.

LottaSoup: Because thank you Osman, for creating all these loopholes.

TK: Exactly. I woke up, and I remembered that I had this idea, and I remembered that it was like two words. For the life of me I could not remember what it was. And I literally went 48 hours of racking my brain trying to remember what it was. And in the end, I think I got it. I like, dredged it up from my memory bank, but it took a long time for me to get there. But usually for me it’s pretty easy, which is nice.

LottaSoup: Oh, can you hear me?

[music]

TK: Yeah, so the inspiration and the writing process for writing Taskmaster fanfic. I don’t know if for you, but for me personally, I get a lot of my inspiration either from stuff-

[music]

TK: It’s a little rough, that’s okay.

LottaSoup: Stupid third world problems.

TK: So when you write-

[music]

TK: Ok, can you hear me?

LottaSoup: Yes?

TK: Ok, great, so when you write Taskmaster fanfic, where does your inspiration come from?

LottaSoup: It is usually, pretty similar to you, something that has just sort of popped into my brain and it won’t let me go until I’ve put it down onto paper slash document, stroke document.

TK: Excellent reference.

LottaSoup: Thank you. I told you, my mind is a steel trap for anything that Greg says. What I personally love so much about it is that I am a copywriter in my IRL real life. But I used to be a copywriter. But what I am now is an AI wrangler. I never write anything from my own brain anymore because it’s just stupid to do that. Taskmaster fanfiction is the only time where it’s just me and a blank page, spewing my words. And I get to be genuinely creative and just anything my brain comes up with, I can just put it out there. And that is so different from what I do as a, inverted commas, writer, in my real life. I used to be a writer. I’m not a writer anymore. Right. But with fanfiction, I am a writer.

TK: That’s awesome.

LottaSoup: And I love it, and it’s amazing what your brain comes up with. If you can actually just let your imagination run wild.

TK: That’s awesome. That does sound very freeing to have to kind of-

LottaSoup: And I mean, I don’t need to tell you about it because you know, Usain Bolt.

TK: Cranking out the two a day.

LottaSoup: I don’t know how you come up- It used to be two a day.

TK: There’s much more now.

LottaSoup: Although, to be fair, Alex did say more than two a day, because I think he was giving himself leeway there, because he was looking at you.

TK: He was like, oh no, they’re here.

LottaSoup: Oh god, TK’s here, more than two. Let’s just cover our bases here.

TK: Personally, I get my inspiration from two things. The first thing is things that Greg and Alex do. Now, these days, because I’ve written like 200 fics, these days it’ll be like, oh, I went to New York City and they did this thing on stage. Of course, I need to write that, that just has to happen. So stuff that they do, of course like shouting out on Seth Meyers and like all this kind of stuff. And then the second place that I get my inspiration from is our little group chat, because a lot of times there will be people in the group chat that just throw out ideas that would be like, wouldn’t it be funny if Greg and Alex did x, y, z, and then half the time when they say stuff like that, they’re like, wouldn’t that be nice if it was a fic? And I’m like, I’m on it! Insert Alex gif of ‘typing away’.

LottaSoup: And 20 minutes later, it’s published.

TK: Pretty much. If I’m not actively doing stuff at work, then usually it’ll come pretty quickly, from me personally, which I know is not the case for everyone.

LottaSoup: I don’t understand how you can type so quickly and so accurately and not make spelling mistakes. You’re some kind of deity, I don’t understand it.

TK: The way I can do it is because both of my parents were computer programmers for Cornell University, and so I grew up on a Mac and a PC. So I have been typing since forever. And we did have typing classes in school, in middle school and high school. Because we were kind of the generation that we were growing up with the creation and use of computers.

LottaSoup: Digital Natives.

TK: So I just was typing all the time. And I’ve always been a writer. Like ever since middle school, I have constantly been writing, like poetry and short stories and novels and all this kind of stuff.

LottaSoup: You don’t remember the days when we had to do it on paper?

TK: I mean, I have written on paper a lot, actually.

LottaSoup: Shopping lists and stuff.

TK: I’ve filled notebooks full of poetry.

LottaSoup: Aw, I’d love to. I’d love to hear your poetry!

TK: Well, it’s on my AO3 account.

LottaSoup: Oh, uh, huh? I’ll have to go burrowing. This little ferret’s going to have to go burrowing a little bit deeper.

TK: Yes, remind me to send you the link to it, because what I literally did was I kept all of the poetry I have ever written in my life, which is a lot. I think it’s like 180 or something ridiculous.

LottaSoup: So less than your Taskmaster fiction.

TK: Actually, yes! Now that you bring that up. But I did put it all in like one kind of document, but like one the fic and then the fic is one, every chapter is a different poem.

LottaSoup: Okay. Well, that’s my entertainment for tonight sorted, I guess. Unless Greg and Alex do something crazy. And I mean, let’s not rule it out.

TK: I think I might start posting my long fic. It’s like 23,000 words that I’ve been sleeping on since like December. I might actually start posting them.

LottaSoup: “Some of them are long, they’re like little novels.”

TK: Yeah, I feel like he was talking about Jester and The King, because that one is pretty much right at-

LottaSoup: But I also feel irritated because, I mean, there are ones that are much longer than 20,000 words, and if anyone is going to the stats wrong, I mean, Alex Horne, come on!

TK: I was disappointed, he was like, ‘oh there’s 20,000 words’ and I’m like, you know that that’s like a low number, right? You know that’s a lower number of the 40,000, 50,000 words that Illuminescence constantly is cranking out.

LottaSoup: Isn’t there one, one of the old school ones is 120 or something like that?

TK: It’s over 100,000, yeah.

LottaSoup: I mean, that’s two Great Gatsbys. To put it in context. We’re a prolific bunch.

TK: We really are. I mean it’s really nice. Like there’s you never get bored in this fandom, which is.

LottaSoup: Oh it’s not possible. It’s not possible to get bored.

TK: It’s really nice. So speaking of fan work recommendations. I was going to ask you if you know what your fan work recommendations are. But before I do, is there anything else that you’d like to talk about that we haven’t gotten a chance to discuss?

LottaSoup: Hang on, let me look at my document. Okay. No, we’ve been through that. Let me look at the other one. Oh, yes. There is one more thing that I need to tell you. Sing me the song of your people!

TK: Soup!

LottaSoup: [Meows] You are evil. Every single day I wake up, that’s the first thing in my head. And it is your fault. And I hope that you can live with that.

TK: I definitely can. I literally sing it all the time.

LottaSoup: Yes! And now so do I. So you infected me, thank you very much.

TK: You are so welcome.

LottaSoup: I was living a perfectly happy, uncorrupted life until you came along – in more ways than one. I’ve got this song in my head and endless works of literature that I like to call ‘ladies special interest literature’.

TK: That is a very fancy way of saying that, I like that.

LottaSoup: That’s another thing we could talk about at some point, is why women find it, find this interesting, but that’s maybe for another episode.

TK: That’s a whole can of worms, huh?

LottaSoup: I also want to talk about why Alex Horne can’t say words that have a P in them. Have you noticed that? He can’t say episode, he says ‘apisode’ and he can’t say podcast, he says ‘pudcast’.

TK: Interesting.

LottaSoup: Anyway, just throwing it out there.

TK: What a man.

LottaSoup: Just stuff that I’ve noticed. No! What a boy, what a boy.

TK: What a good boy. Alright, tell me your fan work recommendations. What are your absolute favorites. Your must-reads, your must-sees.

LottaSoup: Okay, I’m going to get super emotional about this, so I need to just quickly have a guzzle of water, because I’m going to cry.

TK: Okay, let me guess, it’s by Illuminescence, surprising no one.

LottaSoup: Of course it’s by Illuminescence. And honestly, if anybody has not read works by Illuminescence, then what the fuck are you doing with your life? Go out and do it right now.

TK: Just go do it, like, seriously.

LottaSoup: Do it. Do it. Otherwise there’s something wrong with you. Okay. All right, so the fanfic that changed my life was. And it sounds so stupid. Spaceship Greg, by Illuminescence. And it was so engrossing and so deeply. Oh, she’s going. So moving. And there was one chapter in particular that, I mean, I couldn’t shake, I couldn’t shake it. And there was a moment where I was literally standing in the shopping center. I was standing in front of the cat food, and I was remembering this particular chapter from that story, and I just burst into tears just in the middle of the grocery store there. And shame, this kind lady sort of came up to me, because I’m staring in the middle distance here, and she thinks I’m looking at the cat food. She says, “Oh, I know the prices are awful, aren’t they?” And I’m like, “What?!” And then she sort of directs me down the aisle, like, “There’s cheaper ones here.” And she was inches away from giving me money because she thought I couldn’t pay for my cat food!

TK: Oh my gosh!

LottaSoup: And I’m like, no, it’s not about that. It’s about this… uh… novel that I’m reading.
Have you, have you seen this, this British show called Taskmaster, and she’s like, nuh-uh, I’m like, okay, there’s no way that I can explain this to you.

TK: No, absolutely not.

LottaSoup: So there’s this big guy called Greg Davies, and he’s a spaceship, but he’s sentient. And then there’s this space pirate… No, you’re not going to get it.

TK: It’s so hard to talk to other people about Taskmaster in the way that, like, they’ve never heard of Taskmaster, and there’s no really succinct way to explain it to somebody that’s never seen the show and how life-changing it is.

LottaSoup: And it is genuinely life-changing, because I am not a sociable person. I am a leopard in a world of lions. I am not what you would call gregarious. But I have found my people, and I found them online, and they are you. And it’s literally been so affirming. And you’re the kindest, nicest, worst open-minded. I’m going to, she’s going again, welcoming, most supportive people. I’ve never experienced anything like it. And having been online most of my life, the internet can be a horrible place. But not with you guys. It’s genuinely beautiful.

TK: There’s something about Taskmaster fans, we hit different.

LottaSoup: And all so eloquent and well-spoken and you’re my people. It’s home. I found home.

TK: It really does, you’ve summed it up beautifully. Honestly, it feels like home.

LottaSoup: And now I get to speak to you!

TK: I don’t think I’d ever talk to someone who lives in South Africa if it wasn’t for Taskmaster.

LottaSoup: Exactly. This is the magic of it all. The stuff that you would never imagine could possibly happen to you. I never thought I would speak to someone in America, outside of a work context.

TK: It’s pretty cool.

LottaSoup: No, it’s more than pretty cool, it’s fucking amazing. I assume we’re allowed to swear on this. I hope you’re allowed to swear on this.

TK: Yes, yes, yes.

LottaSoup: Thank you, yes please.

TK: All right, so I know that you are LottaSoup on AO3. Is there anything else that you do that you’d like me to plug?

LottaSoup: No. This is pretty much my whole life.

TK: That’s valid.

LottaSoup: There’s nothing else noteworthy about me. I mean, I have some cats. I have a dog. His name is Rafiki.

TK: You just had some foster kittens.

LottaSoup: Yeah, I had to let them go yesterday. I don’t want to talk about it.

TK: Aw, it’s okay. They’re going to find their forever homes, and they’re going to be so happy.

LottaSoup: They better, or I’ll go and kill them.

TK: Oh my God. That went 0 to 100 real fast.

LottaSoup: Oh man, I did not shove so many syringes down their goddamn throats for them not to find forever homes.

TK: That’s real dude.

LottaSoup: You get it, you get this.

TK: I do get it! They can be a lot of work, but they sure are cute.

LottaSoup: Man, it was a heartbreaking experience.

TK: Well if you keep fostering, it gets easier to say goodbye. Trust me.

LottaSoup: I choose to believe you, but my heart can’t believe you right now.

TK: No. That’s fair, you need time. Well, Soup, thank you so much for coming on the Transformative Taskmaster podcast. We have loved having you as a guest, very exciting.

LottaSoup: Oh my God. It was too much fun. Too much fun. You’re not going to be able to keep me away.

TK: Good, because we don’t want to keep you away at all.

LottaSoup: Then that works nicely for everyone. But please, on the next quiz, you got to do a little bit better, man.

TK: I wasn’t prepared for guests to be quizzing me.

LottaSoup: That’s the whole point, you’re not supposed to be prepared.

TK: You should have done something easier like “Bastards crying innit”

LottaSoup: Okay. All right. I’ll do a super easy one for you next time, then.

TK: Good, okay.

LottaSoup: Thank you so much!

TK: Thank you. Bye bye.

LottaSoup: Love you lots, you take care of TK, please.

[kissy noises]

VO: And once again, that was TK and Soup talking about their experiences writing in the Taskmaster fandom. There, that was better. You can find Soup and the fics mentioned in this episode in the description. Thank you for watching and don’t forget to visit our Patreon, where we are currently taking questions for future guests.

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