Transformative Taskmaster | Ep05 – Figures of fun | Alex Horne

VO
Hello and welcome to the Transformative Taskmaster podcast. This week, TK is speaking with Little Alex Horne about fic, fandom, and everything in between. We can’t quite believe it either.

TK
Welcome, Alex Horne, to the Transformative Taskmaster podcast.

Alex
Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be on this wonderful podcast. The transformative one. Thank you for having me. It’s very nice to get an invite.

TK
Wild that we got you so early. We’ve only been a podcast for a few weeks now, so it’s pretty exciting.

Alex
Well, it’s exciting for me, too. I mean, I do have a policy of saying yes to most things, but also, you’ve been on my podcast, so this is only fair.

TK
That’s true. And I had a lot of fun being on your podcast.

Alex
Despite the technical difficulties.

TK
There were a lot. I was talking to Joe [Auckland] because he was on this podcast last week. We recorded and we had a great time, and he said that he listened to my episode and it sounds really good. And I was like, “Well that’s good, because from my end it sounded like shit.”

Alex
Yeah weirdly, it sounds fine. I mean, the good thing about our one is that there’s six people anyway, and then you’re there too, so there’s always something going on. But you added a nice element and something a bit different. So it’s all good. But that podcast is in the past now. This is where we are.

TK
Yes. Here we are. I don’t know how to segue into this, so I’m just going to say: let’s talk about fanfic.

Alex
Let’s do it. Finally.

TK
Now, you are no stranger to fanfic yourself, writing it-wise, because on The Horne Section podcast, I assume it’s you that writes Sticky Streets. Is that correct?

Alex
Yeah, that is correct. Is that what that’s classified…?

TK
That’s what it is, Alex. You’re writing fanfic. Yeah.

Alex
Well that’s interesting. I never thought of it like that. I just thought that I was scribbling a story down as quick as possible. But I guess you’re right. It’s a fantasy world about a real person, in this case, Richard Madeley. So I’m writing fanfic about Richard Madeley. Interesting. And Jon Bon Jovi.

TK
So that’s what we call RPF, which stands for real person fiction. Which is, as you know, what a lot of fics are about you and Greg, is RPF. But before we get to that, there are sometimes little fanfics about you in the Taskmaster universe, such as the one you did for the live task in the New York City premiere a few months ago and the musical chairs task in Series 15. So it’s like, “Alex goes about his day and blah blah, blah.” I think usually Greg reads it, and then once the contestant hears a certain word, they have to do something like pop a balloon or whatever. Who writes those stories? Is it you?

Alex
I see what you mean. Yes, it would be. Sorry. There’s so many things going on. Because there’s, yeah, these fictional stories out there about me and Greg. But you’re talking about the stories which are within tasks. So these are the real things in the show, but they’re also fiction. A combination of me or a member of the team, like Andrew or Jenny or Amy. So, someone from our little, very small production team. Depending on the time available. They’re very talented. And also they can absolutely do it if I don’t have time. And if that’s the case, I will then potentially edit that or I will write it and they will edit mine. So it’s collaborative.

TK
Nice. We don’t have a lot of them. But there are more than one. So I had to bring it up.

Alex
No, it’s funny. Yeah, it’s a good – I’m glad people notice what we’re up to. Often I find other people know more about the show than me.

TK
Well, yeah. But also, we’re the ones that are rewatching it constantly, multiple times. And making gif sets and fan videos and art and fics and doing research on making spreadsheets and stats and everything.

Alex
I’m so sorry. [He was letting podcast dog in.] Yeah, I don’t rewatch it, except I have to occasionally because we do sort of, compilations at the end of a series now. And yeah, occasionally something comes up because I see somebody else’s edit on YouTube. What’s it called when they do an edit to a song? That’s got a name, hasn’t it?

TK
Oh, it’s usually like an AMV. So, like a music video type of thing.

Alex
Some of them are so brilliant. And I’m sort of taken away into, “Oh, this is a good program. Oh, there I am!” Which is really nice. But then you catch yourself that you realize you’re watching yourself, and that’s not… never that good.

TK
Oh, because it’s just weird or because you don’t like watching yourself?

Alex
I don’t mind watching myself, but there’s better things to be doing with my time, I think. And it’s definitely narcissistic. Other people’s – fans’ – work. I mean, fanart has obviously, you’re involved in that and there’s such talented people out there, including yourself. But that was the first sort of experience I had of other people creating content around the show.

TK
Was the videos or the art?

Alex
The art – it was drawings first and then the videos. And people making their own version of the show as well, and often editing it for weeks. And yeah, some high quality stuff out there.

TK
So your first exposure to fanworks was through art and then videos. But when did you find out about fanfiction and how did you find out about it?

Alex
That’s a very good point. I don’t have a specific moment when I remember seeing it, but I know the first time Greg and I dealt with it was on The Horne Section podcast, where we read out a story, and I think it was immediately before that. I think Greg was coming on the podcast, so I Googled – you know, whenever we have guests on the podcast, I would just be Googling their name and seeing what comes up – so I think it was that. I think I Googled him and me, and there it was, this stuff, and I had no idea it was there, and once you’re aware of it, it’s hilarious and fun and, you know. It’s not really shocking because nothing’s shocking, really, is it? It’s just words. But, yeah, let’s say it was around then. So I don’t know when that was. Six, five, six, six, seven years ago?

TK
Yeah, I don’t remember exactly what date that episode came out. Obviously I know which one you’re talking about, but.

Alex
But pre-COVID, I think. Maybe? Maybe not.

TK
So you Googled “Greg and Alex,” and then you found that poem, and you just decided to roll with it?

Alex
I just decided to go with it because I guess I thought it was fair game in that – I don’t want to offend anyone who’s spent the time writing these things, because I do hopefully normally say, “There’s good stuff there,” – But I also think, I suppose if they’re using my name, I can use their stuff, you know, if I’m the person in it, I can read it out.

TK
That’s fair. Yeah. That totally makes sense.

Alex
The podcast is a bit of a Wild West anyway because we play, don’t tell anyone, but we play in songs by the Beatles sometimes and no one seems to mind. But they definitely should mind. So, yeah, I don’t know, if it was telly, we would be asking permission, and so on, but it feels like it’s fun to just go for it and then we read it out on the podcast and then somebody gets in touch and says, “Oh, that’s my thing. That’s great that you mentioned it.” And it seems quite a positive, collaborative world. So hopefully we haven’t upset anyone by alluding to them. And we’re not trying to treat them too frivolously. But I don’t really know what – I mean, you might be able to help me – I don’t quite know what the point of them…?

TK
I know what you’re asking. So, I’ll say that normally when people write RPF (real personal fiction), it’s kind of a community thing, weirdly. The number one rule, pretty much, is: don’t share your fic with the people. And that’s not because you’re not allowed to read it or whatever. It’s not written for you, if that makes sense.

Alex
I get that.

TK
It’s written for the fans. And so, you know, we have this online community that we just talk about the show and we talk about the characters of you and Greg on the show, and you give us all these weird bits of lore that the Taskmaster and the Assistant go through, and we’re like, “This doesn’t make any sense. Why don’t we write about it and do all this thinking about it and turn it into our own transformative works?” And it’s fun and it’s creative and you share it with your friends and they all go nuts for it. And so it really helps to build this sense of community. And you write hundreds of thousands of words for fun, which is nuts.

Alex
Yeah, that all makes sense. And it’s, you know, it’s sweet and sort of innocent.

TK
I mean, we’re not doing it maliciously or anything.

Alex
Oh, no, completely. But I do know what you mean about how you’re not writing it for me and Greg and also you’re not sending it to me and Greg. I guess it’s hard nowadays to not see some of it because of the way people get in tou-, you know, it’s so easy to get in touch with everyone nowadays. You know, you @ someone in and say, “Have you seen this thing?” But, I can’t imagine many people taking it the wrong way. And you know, to some extent, what me and Greg are like. And I think it’s pretty clear, you know, we’ve put ourselves up as figures of fun anyway, so you can’t be too precious about your personas. It’s just funny. I guess once you go on telly, you are handing over a bit of privacy and it’s the choice you make. But I know we both think it’s great. And fully support the community.

TK
Well, thank you. We appreciate that. Now, this is an interesting thing for the fandom because normally when you write RPF, the people that are in the fics don’t engage with them at all, which is totally valid. But you and Greg have made a point to bring it up multiple times on the show and in the New York City premiere and different podcasts and all this kind of stuff. And every time – oh, and Seth Meyers. And every time you do, it’s – podcast cat, don’t.

Alex
Aw, podcast cat! My podcast dog has left us. She’s gone to another room.

TK
That’s too bad. We’re always so thrilled when you bring it up because it is normally not something that happens with communities like this. So it’s just hilarious that you guys think it’s fun and funny and good writing. And you guys treat it with, I’ve said before, a certain kind of reverence, almost, of like, “This is funny, but it’s not bad,” you know what I mean? Which is a huge difference between, some celebrities could easily be like, “This is shit, I don’t want to ever think about this again or look at it again” or whatever. But you two seem to really roll with it, which is really refreshing.

Alex
Well, that’s good to hear. Yeah. I mean, I should stress, we’re not reading it every day.

TK
[chokes on their tea]

Alex
But when we dip our toes into it, we like what we see. It’s funny, but yeah, in the same way as I don’t watch myself on YouTube, I also don’t read about myself online unless it’s for a purpose, I suppose. I guess one weird thing is when you’re a parent, you do think, “Oh God, there’s so much of me out there,” on the show anyway, but then, my kids are teenagers now, pretty much and they’ll find what they find and hopefully take it in the right way. There’s no point thinking about that sort of thing. There are worse things.

TK
No, that’s definitely true. So you said you don’t read it every day, but to what extent do you actually read these things? You’re not out there reading full length fics, are you?

Alex
No. Some of them are really long. No, I mean, to be completely honest, what’s happened is, for example, The Horne Section podcast was, discovering this stuff for the first time and thinking, “Oh wow, let’s find something that’s the right length to use in a podcast.” And then with Seth Meyers, it was similar. It was, “Okay, I think this is interesting and funny,” and it sort of just shows the impact that our stupid TV show can have, the ripples it can have, that we didn’t expect. So then it was a case of finding some titles and stories that weren’t unsuitable for TV. Some are. And again, which had the right tone. So it was more harvesting it for that, but also enjoying the research. So, reading a bit more than I needed to do, but also you are reading it for that purpose, if that makes sense.

TK
So some of the Seth Meyers fics you brought up, one of them is 20,000 words long. You didn’t read that whole thing, surely?

Alex
No, I don’t think I did, but I sort of got the gist. I read the beginning and the end, and they’re pretty rich… things. You want to read it in small bites. So there was a certain amount of panic at that point of, we had to have stuff to say to Seth. So we’re looking at juxtaposition of titles and yeah, so no, I didn’t read the full 20,000 words. So apologies to the author.

TK
Great. So are you and Greg doing this together or are you doing it separately and coming together and being like, “Hey, I found this title that’s really good. What do you think?”

Alex
Yeah, it’s very much like how the show works on this occasion, in that I went away and did the stuff and sent my favorite bits to Greg, and then he hand-picked his favorite bits of my favorite bits.

TK
Right. So as far as we know, Greg’s not reading anything.

Alex
I can’t talk for Greg and his habits. I don’t know.

TK
One day we’ll get him on the podcast and we’ll ask him.

Alex
He’s definitely got the links to things. I reckon he’s dipped his toe in, but I don’t know. His enormous toe.

TK
Incredible. Earlier you said you weren’t surprised that there were fanfics of you two out there. So had you been aware of fanfiction before Taskmaster fanfiction or…?

Alex
I don’t know, probably not. There’s not a lot that surprises me because lots of weird things happen with the show and just anyway in life. So I think that’s why I wasn’t surprised in that – we’ve met a lot of people who’ve got tattoos of us on various places. And I guess that’s a similar vibe. And we are also aware that we slightly fuel the flames a little bit with moments in the show, and that’s all quite fun. And we’re often described as fairly homoerotic relationship or frustrated, which we think is just funny and very happy to play up to that. So yeah, I don’t think it came as a huge shock.

TK
Now that you’re aware of fanfic, do you play into those roles more because of it or has it not affected that at all?

Alex
I don’t think we do. We definitely don’t deliberately. I mean who knows, subconsciously? We do know the moments that get a bigger reaction online than others. And it would be easy to dwell on that more. But I think we are always just trying to be funny. So the first rule is just: is this going to make people laugh? And also it is true that Greg doesn’t know what I’m going to say in my bits. I know roughly what he’s going to say but I don’t know how he’s going to react. Everything he says that isn’t scripted is reacting in the moment. And I don’t know how he’s going to react to my bits. So we don’t have a meeting and go, “Let’s try to play on that for a bit.” So no, I think it’s pretty organic, whatever happens. I don’t think there’s a deliberate ploy to get more stories written or to particularly tickle one community because it’s obviously quite niche. But then it is a niche show anyway, it’s a culty thing.

TK
There’s this joke that we have in the community that is something Greg used to say. I don’t think he really says it anymore. And he’s like, “I just don’t know where these people are getting these ideas from.” But then there’s so many examples of shit that you two do and it’s like, “How are we supposed to interpret this any other way?” And I think at this point he’s kind of – I don’t think he’s able to say that anymore, because I think you two have just done enough stuff that, there’s no denying that it’s fodder for fic writers and stuff like that.

Alex
He has a slightly different relationship with the show to me, I suppose, because he’s all about the studio bit. And at that point he is running the show and it’s all on his shoulders. But I suppose I have to live through it throughout the year a bit more so when you talk about Taskmaster lore and all those bits and bobs around it, I think I’m more aware of those things than he is, probably. And one thing I do love about the community is something that myself and a guy called Dan Trelfor who works on the show, we’ve talked a lot about doing an origin story of why Greg is in charge and why I’ve got this job, and why these people are doing these things for him. And there’s definitely a crossover there with stories that are written. And I like the idea of taking the stupid things we do seriously and trying to explain a reason for it all.

TK
Not to preemptively ask what the lore would be, but do you have an answer for that? Because clearly there is a character for you and Greg on the show. Did you come up with those characters on purpose or did it just kind of naturally evolve into what it is today?

Alex
Very much natural evolution. And I don’t think we have got a clear idea of, you know, if you think of Batman being this billionaire who’s trying to solve the evils of the world, I guess there’s some sort of thing where Greg has somehow been bestowed this title, and he has to wear a suit and he has to sit on a throne. So, yeah, I think in the back of my mind, there is a reason for all these things. And Dan and I are going to hopefully put it into some sort of written form at some point. But it’s ludicrous and it definitely wasn’t there at the beginning. It’s just sort of naturally arisen.

TK
Interesting. Have you seen Greg’s current show/tour?

Alex
I have not. No, I’m going to go see it at a certain point with lots of the Taskmaster team. So no. I’m biding my time. I’ve heard lots of great things.

TK
Have you heard about the bit where he mentions you?

Alex
No. I do know he mentions me, but I don’t really know what he says.

TK
Cool. Well, I’ll be interested to see what your thoughts on that are when you find out. I won’t spoil it for you.

Alex
Yeah, it’s funny, that. Tim Key’s got a show at the moment, which, I think I’m mentioned in that. Or at least I was, and I didn’t know I was going to be, and I was in the audience watching. I go, “Oh, oh, that’s interesting.” But I think whatever it is, because Tim and Greg are good friends of mine, that he could say anything. It wouldn’t bother me, I think.

TK
It’s an interesting choice of words, I think. But anyway, going back to: the website that you found the original first Horne Section podcast fic on, you have been using that same website for your research into picking out fics for Seth Meyers and name dropping titles on the show and everything. Are you aware of the tagging system on that website?

Alex
No. I’m not aware of how a lot of that works. I mean, there’s some, awful lot of words and, yeah. No, please educate me.

TK
So there’s a tagging system where, basically you put tags in the fic so that people can know what the fic is about, like what it has in it. So if I write a fic about working with shelter animals, my tags would include: cats, dogs, shelter work, or something like that.

Alex
Makes sense.

TK
There’s a tag specifically for you. It’s called: Alex Horne, Do Not Read. Which obviously, you’ve skipped past.

Alex
I think it crossed my mind I shouldn’t because it said “don’t.” But it’s also crossed my mind that I probably should if it says “don’t”.

TK
There are variations on the tag now, so there’s Alex Horne You Can Read This, Alex Horne Do Not Read, Alex Horne You’re a Little Shit if You Read This, Alex Horne You Owe Me $50 if you read this.

Alex
Oh, that’s interesting. I mean, they need to focus – yeah, people like me aren’t reading the tags.

TK
Okay, well, that’s good to know.

Alex
Because I’m not familiar enough with the system, I suppose.

TK
So, are you reading summaries or just titles?

Alex
Titles, and then I’m either in or out. Because that’s how I do it with books. That’s how I read things.

TK
Fair enough. Well, we’re glad that you like the stuff that we write.

Alex
So I could use the tags to search for Alex Do Not Read.

TK
Yeah, I guess… Now I feel like I shouldn’t have told you that.

Alex
I could have worked it out myself probably.

TK
You can use the tag system to search for Alex Horne Do Not Read or any other specific tags you want to find if you were so inclined, I suppose.

Alex
Good to know.

TK
Before we move on from fanfic, there’s something that we like to do as a writing community. And I kind of mentioned this earlier that we’re a community that kind of feeds off each other and gets a lot of inspiration from each other and all this kind of stuff. And often we’ll do this thing where we offer each other writing ideas or what we call “writing prompts.” And so it’ll be like, “February is Valentine’s Day theme prompt,” whatever. Or Christmas prompts or whatever. “Write about Greg and Alex having a wonderful Christmas time.” That’s the prompt. And then you can just do whatever you want with that. So if you were to give the community some themes or prompts to write, what would you give us?

Alex
Well, I guess I would have said “origin story,” but I don’t want – we often have this thing where I’m really worried about plagiarizing other people and nicking their ideas. So maybe avoid that because you’ll get cross when we write this book and you’ll think we’ve nicked the ideas. But it’s a good question. I’m just gonna let podcast dog back in. So just general themes. Here she comes. I wouldn’t mind reading people’s creative takes on how the tasks are come up with, or how I come up with – how they’re tested. You know, I wouldn’t mind a sort of extreme version of that. And people, losing limbs or whatever, you know, in the testing process.

TK
[laughing] Oh my gosh! Okay.

Alex
I think the mundane – I like the munda-, we’re in the Taskmaster house most of the year. There’s people in there right now, even though we’re not filming, beavering away. And the idea of that being sort of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-style house, I quite like. I don’t know if that’s enough of a theme, but task testing, I’d go with. We’ve just had Mothering Sunday. I’d avoid that. Pancake Day is always the funniest day of the year here for me. We did a good Horne Section song about Pancake Day. I wouldn’t mind reading what Greg and I get up to on Pancake Day.

TK
Cool. Well, expect a lot of Pancake Day fics to drop at some point. So, we too have games on our podcast, and the game that we’re going to play today is called What is it Alex Has Been? And the game is that I will read you five occupations or identities. And you have to tell me which of these you think Alex has been in a fanfic, and which you think Alex has not yet been in a fanfic.

Alex
Wow. Okay, great stuff.

TK
So this is either something that already exists or it hasn’t been written yet. So I’m going to give you five. For extra points, if the fic does exist, you can also guess what Greg was in the fic, if that makes sense.

Alex
I think I understand.

TK
Okay, so, number one: jester.

Alex
I think I have been that, and I imagine Greg was the king.

TK
Yep. That’s correct. You get two points. All right. Second one: Grim Reaper.

Alex
Oh! I don’t like the idea of that. I’d say, I haven’t been the Grim Reaper.

TK
You have, actually.

Alex
Oh, what was Greg?

TK
He was just Greg.

Alex
[laughing] Okay.

TK
Next one is: painter.

Alex
Well, I – as a producer, I’m thinking some of these must not have happened, but producer seems like-, sorry, painter seems likely. So I’m going to say yes. And maybe Greg was the model.

TK
Actually, no, you haven’t been a painter yet. But there has been a fic where it was the other way around. So Greg was the painter, and you were the model.

Alex
Okay. That must be what I was thinking of.

TK
Next one: sous chef.

Alex
Yeah, I imagine so. And Greg was the real deal.

TK
Nope. Not yet. But actually, now that you say that, that’s a great fic prompt.

Alex
That is a good fic prompt.

TK
Yeah. Okay. Last one is: journalist.

Alex
Well, you wouldn’t have had three in a row that didn’t happen. So I think I was a journalist and maybe he was the newspaper owner, the mogul.

TK
No, it’s a good guess, but he was a teacher in that fic. Yeah. Interesting. An interesting dynamic.

Alex
Well, I’m looking forward to reading that one.

TK
Yeah. It’s a little older, I think, but anyway. I haven’t kept track of the stores, stores, stores, scores.

Alex
I didn’t do very well. I think I only got three.

TK
Yeah I don’t think you did very well either. Sorry. Oh well, it gave us more ideas of stuff to write, at least. So that’s good. Okay. Right back in it. So I have a bunch of random questions that aren’t particularly tied to anything. So we’re just gonna start. First question is, are there Easter eggs in Taskmaster that you’re shocked that fans catch, or are there Easter eggs that you thought were obvious, and you’re disappointed that people didn’t find?

Alex
The first. There are Easter eggs, which we put in specifically for certain sorts of people, and they are, I think, every time spotted quickly. I mean, I did this stupid book, the Treasure Hunt book. Bring Me the Head of the Taskmaster. I was amazed by how fast people got through it. And, you know, we luckily, a lot of that was online so we could keep adding extra clues because people were so much smarter than we thought. So yeah, I’m not sure if every Easter egg has been found. Let’s say, definitely not. But annoyingly, I’m the wrong person to speak to about this. Andrew on the team. Andy on the team, they’re better at hiding them than me. I think, yeah. Again, I don’t want to, you know, I care about the show an awful lot, but I can only have so many things in my head. So, yeah, I do know that we quite often hint at the next cast’s names somewhere. People always conjecture about who that’s going to be and they haven’t always been spotted, those clues.

TK
Hmm, yeah. Interesting. Good to know that that’s a thing. Like an actual thing.

Alex
Yeah it is a deliberate thing.

TK
The community that I’m in, online, we’ve definitely noticed it in the last couple series and we’re like, “Is this just random letters or is this actually, does this actually mean something?”

Alex
There’s very little random. We also just like to have things that refer back to things that have happened in the show, you know, eight series before. And sometimes there are numbers which we have chosen and we can’t remember why we chose them. They had some meaning at some point.

TK
That’s cool. Will The Horne Section ever do another task?

Alex
I expect so, yeah. I like having musical tasks. I like having them in the show. But you don’t want to repeat yourself and you don’t want to call on them too often. So nothing in the near future. But I’m sure we’ll get them back.

TK
Nice. Yeah, we love seeing the boys on. It’s always like, “I know those people!”

Alex
It’s fun having them and they know the deal. So yeah, I’m sure.

TK
Cool. In the studio, I’ve never been to a studio record, but apparently there are pre-show improvs that you and Greg do with the audience, I guess? When did that start, and whose idea was it?

Alex
Well it’s not my idea. Basically, in the studio, Greg comes on, says hello to the audience, then he brings me on and makes me improvise something, which is funny because I can’t do it. I’m not an improviser, I can’t sing, I can’t dance, so he makes me do those things. And I don’t know when it started. It wasn’t from the very beginning, but he enjoys it and it puts us both at ease. And I always dread it slightly, but it does the job of getting my adrenaline going and brain whirring. So they’re not good comedy moments, but they’re quite funny.

TK
Will they ever be released? Are they recorded at all?

Alex
I hope they will never be released. And the odd one has maybe gone out as a sort of blooper type thing. Oh. there’s someone at the door, but I think my wife’s here. We’re fine.

TK
So, your iPad that you use on the show. Do you use an app for scoring on the iPad?

Alex
I can’t reveal the secrets of the iPad.

TK
I knew you would say that. I had to ask anyway.

Alex
No, there’s a lot going on, but I think it’s fun to not say exactly what happens. What I can tell you is that it’s not – a lot of people have said it’s just a blank thing or there’s nothing on it at all. It does things.

TK
It has a function. We just don’t know what the function is.

Alex
Exactly.

TK
I don’t know if you even know the answer to this or not, but my theory is that the iPads that the other assistants use, like Paul Williams and Tom Cashman and Mike Wozniak, do different things?

Alex
Yeah, I think they do do different things. I think Paul’s is the most similar to mine. That’s my guess.

TK
Interesting.

Alex
We don’t talk about these things. Very private.

TK
Internal secrets. The charity football match at Chesham last year. Where’s the video for that?

Alex
There’s a little trailer that we’ve made for this year’s one.

TK
I just watched it. Yeah.

Alex
So it’s mainly been used for that. But we filmed it just so we filmed it. So I don’t know where the footage is. It’s at Avalon somewhere, but it’s not going to be turned into anything. People have asked if we could stream it live so people can watch it, which is a lovely idea, but it’s so hard to do. Because it’s not a theater, you know, it’s a non-league football ground and people’s permission in the crowd, and there’s tons of kids and things. So yeah, and also, to be honest, the players don’t really want it to be released because they’re doing it for fun. And, you know, they’re hot and sweaty and they’re running around, and getting permission from everyone is a bit of a nightmare. So yeah, I don’t think it will… I think it’s sort of archive material. So in the future, you never know. Something might happen with it. But yeah, there’s no plan to release it.

TK
All right. Understandable. These questions are just not linked at all. So on Mark Watson’s series, he texted Greg 148 times. And apparently there’s a book of those texts that lives at the Taskmaster Live Experience?

Alex
Yeah, although that’s no longer going. So that was only a brief thing. So it’s now back in storage.

TK
I thought the Live Experience was moving. Or is it not?

Alex
Oh well that’s news to me. I think the plan is to do it again at some point but that was the end of the lease in that venue. We’ll see. In terms of the book…

TK
Yes. So the book is in storage. Will that ever be released in a digital format, do you think?

Alex
I have no idea. It’s a good question. If there’s enough clamor for it, I guess it’s the sort of thing we could do as a charity thing. We quite like raising money occasionally in that sort of, you know, with a stupid thing that people have to pay a small amount for. So maybe. Yeah. If you think it’d go down well, we’ll look into that.

TK
I can tell you personally, there are a ton of people that want that book released. There’s a lot of people that want to know – because we have a few texts, but we don’t have all of them.

Alex
You want the full thing.

TK
We want the full thing, Alex. I’m not demanding, but I’m asking nicely.

Alex
I’m going to write a note in my phone.

TK
Okay, great. I assume I know the answer to this – I’ll let you… [waiting for Alex to write the note]

Alex
Yeah. Noted.

TK
I assume it’s just a member of the crew, but who’s in charge of setting up, cleaning up, counting stuff for tasks? Measuring stuff for tasks. Because there’s quite a lot of large numbers involved in stuff.

Alex
Yeah, well, Andrew is our numbers guy who’s been on the show from the beginning, but the way it works is that the tasks are divided up amongst the team. So there’s four of them or five who, they’ll have a few tasks each. So you’re in charge of your tasks.

TK
Oh, that’s cool.

Alex
But they also have somebody else. They’ll cover each other in case one of them’s ill or whatever. So yeah, you have your own task and then you’ll be in charge of everything. And we’ve got a shared document where I write my notes and they add numbers to it and that sort of thing. So it’s quite a fairly hodgepodge homemade system that works.

TK
I always kind of feel bad for the people that have to clean up the forks and marbles off the ground and…

Alex
Yeah, I feel bad as well, but I guess there are worse things.

TK
That’s true. Can you – I know this is a podcast medium, but we’re recording a video on this – can you count to five for me on your hand?

Alex
Yeah, I know where you’re going with this. Yeah. [counts to five on his hand: thumb, index, middle, pinky, ring] There it is.

TK
Why do you – when did you start doing that and why?

Alex
It’s a tendon thing. It’s very boring. It’s a biological thing. I can’t lift this finger up by itself. Can you?

[TK can and does.]

Alex
Your fourth – yeah. I can’t, so the one next to my middle finger. So you’ve got your thumb, your index, your middle. The next one is the ring finger, I suppose. I can’t lift it up unless the little finger’s up I can halfway. It’s a very boring thing. Same on both hands.

TK
That’s cool.

Alex
And the odd person’s got in touch and said, “That’s how I count too!” but not many.

TK
Yeah. Interesting. The next question is what’s your favorite smell?

Alex
I don’t think I’ve got a favorite smell. There are smells I like. You know, it’s quite like, I mean, I’m next to my dog. I quite like when she comes back from a groom and the talcum powder smell. That’s a good smell. That’s gotta be up there with my favorites, but I like most things. I think I probably will go for her talcum powder. We had a long chat yesterday – I was with some friends – talking about aftershave and what a ripoff that is. So it’s definitely not one of them. You know, I like quite old, dusty things.

TK
An old book. Yeah.

Alex
Old book or old dog or clean dog.

TK
Old clean dog. How old is she?

Alex
Five and a half.

TK
Oh, she’s baby.

Alex
She’s not an old dog. She’s catching up with me, though.

TK
I thought she was an old lady for some reason, but I guess not.

Alex
She still looks like a puppy, but, yeah.

TK
She’s just baby. Okay, the next question is, it’s not really a question, but tell me about your metal phase.

Alex
Yeah, it’s definitely a phase. It’s over. But yeah, when Ben and Joe from the band and I were growing up, we would buy Kerrang! Magazine and Metal Hammer. We decorated our walls with posters of Slam, Megadeth, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and we were quite specific about these bands. Motorhead, but never Bon Jovi or Aerosmith. We were very much on the metal side, not glam metal, we thought. Ben and Joe were into it. Joe was into it properly. Joe had long hair. I had semi long hair. We all wore black all the time. We got our patches that we ironed onto our leather, denim jackets, but I went to one gig, I can’t remember what it was called. Four initials that spelt out something like MEAT, but it wasn’t MEAT, I can really remember what it was. But I didn’t really like it. It was too noisy.

TK
Too loud. Yeah.

Alex
Ed Gamble’s, you know, a proper metal-er still. And so is Joe. Joe went to Napalm Death, I think, recently, and yeah, it’s not for me. I like Metallica because it’s quite gentle. That’s my phase. I was trying to fit in with my friends.

TK
That’s fair. Well, we’re gonna wrap up. On this podcast we usually ask the guest if they have any fanwork recommendations. So if you want to shout out any fan videos, fanart, fan creations, it doesn’t have to be fanfic. Just anything that pops into your head.

Alex
I guess what I would do, because I don’t really have any big recommendations here, but I happened to go down a bit of a wormhole from the Home Tasking that we did over lockdown, which was people sending videos of their families doing tasks that Greg and I set, and they are really lovely, and I like that they’re there as a bit of a record of the pandemic for what was going on in my life. And I think, you know, we’re five years on, they’re quite a happy memory that, you know, it wasn’t an easy time for people. But some good stuff happened. So I would go down there. So you’re looking at other people doing some really remarkable stuff. So yeah, if you’re bored, that’s my recommendation. Look up Home Tasking. I think it’s on the Taskmaster YouTube channel.

TK
I think I think you’re right.

Alex
But it was very much of its time. We talked recently about doing it again. And it’s a bit like No More Jockeys. It needs to be with the pandemic. So fingers crossed for another one of them soon.

TK (completely missing the joke)
Well you are currently touring with The Horne Section. So you’re touring this year. The Horne Section TV show is coming out with Series 2 in May?

Alex
Yes. At some point in May. We will release a date soon. I can’t say yet when, but yeah, it’s coming.

TK
Taskmaster Series 19 is coming out…?

Alex
In May as well, we think. But the very beginning of May we think. But again, I can’t tell you that.

TK
All right. That’s a long time between the premiere of the first episode.

Alex
Yeah. We’re not quite sure how these things work. We do what we’re told.

TK
Yeah, I know you’re not in charge of dates and stuff, so.

Alex
Sadly not.

TK
Is there anything else that you’re up to?

Alex
I have a book coming out, TK, which I’m very proud of. It’s a kid book called The Last Pebble. It looks like that. [shows TK the book]

TK
Oooooh.

Alex
Which I’m really pleased with. It’s a kid’s book which took me six years to write, but I think grownups will like it. I hope grownups will like it. And anyone in between kids and grownups.

TK
When is that coming out? Is it out?

Alex
No. Start of July. So there’ll be a whole – it’s a whole new world for me, the publishing. It’s quite personal, it feels, you know, it’s not a throw away. And if people don’t like it, it will sting. So I hope they like it. But it’s very sweet and innocent.

TK
That’s awesome. Are you still working on your sci-fi book?

Alex
I thought about that the other day. No, currently not. I think the trouble is, it wasn’t very good. And I think also I’m not a sci-fi writer, I’ve discovered.

TK
It’s hard.

Alex
I think I might not be a writer.

TK
Well, not with that attitude.

Alex
Yeah, I think I might be the past participle of a writer. Like a writtened. I’ve written and I’ve stopped. I writed.

TK
Well, keep doing it.

Alex
Okay. Thank you.

TK
Because, you know, anything that is fun is worth doing.

Alex
Yeah, it was hard work, though, writing that book.

TK
I mean, that’s fair. All right. Well, thank you so much for coming on. We would obviously love to have you on in the future at any point. But ideally we’ll have you on with Greg at some point. That would be fun.

Alex
I’ll ask the question. Thank you so much. It’s been very fun. And now I have to go and pick up a child.

TK
Yes. All right. I’ll let you get to it. Okay. Well, thanks for coming.

Alex
Thanks again for seeing me earlier. I hope you’re wide awake. All right, goodbye everyone!

VO
And that was TK giving Alex Horne quite the education on fic and fandom, and we’d like to thank him once again for joining us this week. As always, you can check out all of the fanworks mentioned this episode on our website, tftaskmaster.uk. And if you don’t want to miss Joe Auckland later this month, make sure you subscribe here or anywhere else you get your podcasts. We’ve also got a Patreon now. Find that in the description or on our website where I will be posting all of the deleted scenes and secret behind the scenes clips from the show. The rest of the team might have things to put up there as well. I’m not sure. We’ve only just launched it.